Harry Demarest
Bizarro 2014

Harry Demarest has retired after vocations of scientific research, teaching, computer programming, web programming, and providing computer services. He hated writing in college but now enjoys writing memoir, short stories, short short stories, fifty-word stories, six-word stories, and children’s stories. When he is not writing, he enjoys taking care of grandchildren, playing chess, and sleeping. He also does many things he does not enjoy. He grew up in New Jersey, lived in Portland, Chicago, and Los Angeles, and has lived in Corvallis, Oregon for the last thirty-five years.

Jesus and the Priest
The priest said nobody had suffered more than Jesus.
I disagreed, so I hung him up and burned off an appendage every day, starting with his toes.
After two weeks, the priest agreed that he had suffered more than Jesus, but I continued ten more days, just to be sure.
Special
He told me it was special and I would like it. He wanted to stick it in my special place.
I did like it, so I chopped it off, took it home, and put it in the box under my bed, where I keep my candy and the dead mouse.
The Best
He had ten lovers in the day,
For days or weeks or months or years.
And looking back at sixty years,
The first was best.
At fifteen.
With his mother.